gaydol | acting like a good person on camera

[ onscreen: an insufferable prick doing his best to be as amiable as he can be, wearing a suffocating red suit painful enough to spell "karmic retribution". totally forced upon, totally manipulated. death, in short. valentine's day his fucking ass. ]

Gooooooood afternoon! Welcome again to the weekly edition of Yumenosaki Time, with me, today's special host, Izumi Sena! [ pause for... pre-recorded APPLAUSE haha that rhymed ] — and oh, [ WINK ] do we have an exquisite treat for all of you! For us, by us: "Find Your Mate!"

[ a small pause to raise the paper; he doesn't actually know the rules and pairs verbatim, and it sure isn't his problem if the cameraman is frowning and rushing hand gestures. ]

... So you see, it's just me and a couple of our other idols here, right? Everyone in this room won't be participating, but behind that curtain over there [ camera zooms into a red curtain right across from them ] is the remaining sixteen, and they're gonna find each other while completely blind!

Now, they aren't blindfolded yet — they will be, and you guys better be playing close attention — but as soon as the signal rings, it's lights out and evacuate!

[ onscreen text: "AND THE PARTNERS ARE...?" ]

As for partners, I've got the list... [ SHUFFLING ] here. Make sure to listen carefully, because as soon as I finish, you all have ten seconds to look and touch your partner all you want before the alarm goes off. Got it? Another second to register that? Alright, I'll start.

this is where we fucking die
KURO	TSUKASA
HIBIKI	MAKOTO
RITSU	TOMOYA
EICHI	LEO
ARASHI	KEITO
KAORU	CHIAKI
SUBARU	KOGA
SHINOBU	TORI

... And that's that! I hope the rest of you are ready, because we — [ LA CUCARACHA HORN INTERRUPTS, KILLS IZUMI SENA; HE IS DEAD ]

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[He just watches as his friend struggles. The little whines produced felt truly pitiable, up until of course hands were touching his face. The digits slapped around, desperately trying to identify who he was. Kanata rolled his eyes, opening his mouth to say something, only to find that Shinobu's struggling had landed their hand in his mouth. He wanted to scream but couldn't, and ended up taking Shinobu by the shoulders and shaking him wildly and rapidly talking to him in his normal voice.]

"Aaaaaaaa Ryu-Yellow struggles so much that accidents like that happen! Like a worm used to catch fish, were you fishing for my identity?"

[ In these measly ten seconds Shinobu had felt more confused than he had in the past week, probably. He stopped everything once his entire tiny body was shaken and a familiar voice shocked him to his core. ]

"SHINKAI-SAN?" [ He forgot about keeping quiet, but the time was probably almost up anyways and he did not expect to see his older friend here. ] "Y-You didn't sign up for the game last minute, did you, de gozaru?! How did you end up over here?"

[ He fumbled with his fingers, wiping them on his own jacket. ] "That was your, your mouth, right...? I'm so sorry-!"

[Kanata simply just bubbles with laughter when he can hear his cute little first year struggling with incessant apologies. He keeps shaking him, except only gentler now, as if just to sway him like a leaf.]

"I didn't. I said only to put me in if they needed me, and they didn't. It's how you ended up over here ~ ! You're like a leapfrog, bouncing from place to place, and then you ended up halfway across the room....you even jumped over poor Himemiya-san."

[He giggles, once again squishing the other's cheeks.]

"There's no need to worry though, you just have to try again right, bubble, bubble... ~ ♪"

"Uwaaa, I missed my target...!" [ He whispered in despair to himself, letting his body be rocked back and forth by his fellow unit member. What should he do? Turn back? Wasn't it too late by now? Maybe he should just keep jumping until he leaves the school entirely??

The first year considered the idea, already wriggling free of Kanata's grasp to hide behind him while still blinded. Moving around while his eyes were in the dark wasn't supposed to be this difficult for him... what was all that night ninja training for, if he couldn't do this simple task?! ]

"Shinkai-san, perhaps it's better if I watch from the shadows, after all...!" [ He put one hand over his eyes. ] "Ah, but I still can't actually see. You know what I mean, de gozaru... It was a figure of speech...!" [ He meant that he wanted to hide until the entire game was over, of course. ]

"Mhm, you missed the cute Fine member by a fine mile."

[Kanata hums a little more, barely noticing as the ninja sneakily wormed his way out of his grasp. When he sees the other slip towards the shadows, or what they probably thought was the shadows, he stopped him, taking the other's hand and then smacking it gently against their forehead.]

"Hey, Shi-no-bu ~ ♪" he sings gently, staring at the boy. "That's not the ninja way is it? Not only that, but if you leave Himemiya-san waiting like that....ufufu, you're going to make him really sad won't you? He'll be the only one left by the end without a proper partner, it's your duty to make your designated partner smile right? Bubble, bubble ~ ♪"

Edited 2016-02-16 06:02 (UTC)

"Oh!" [ He felt his own hand smack against his forehead and snapped out of his thoughts to listen to the third-year. N-Not the ninja way? That might be true, but... he wasn't sure he could make Himemiya-san smile even if he did find him... Still, Kanata was usually very good at convincing him to do his best. ]

"Ah... yes! That is my duty as a ninja, de gozaru! Disappointing the other participants is out of the question! Watch me go and find him for real, Shinkai-san!" [ He pauses, tugging at Kanata's sleeve for a moment. ] "C-Could you turn me in the right direction...?"

"Mhm, you see the way now! Aa....you'd still appreciate the help, I understand. As Ryuseitai Blue I will do my best to guide my fellow comrade into the correct direction! Just allow me time to scout for the pink beacon which will act as your lighthouse ~"

[Kanata hums, putting his hand toward his forehead and then searching the crowd. He spots Tori, and turns his friend by the shoulders towards the Fine member.]

"Get ready! Bubble, Bubble ~ ♪"

[Kanata pushes his company into the direction of Tori, however he had forgotten everyone was blindfolded, and after he had pushed Shinobu it seemed the smaller boy ended up wandering away.]

"Ah...oh well, now it'll be a real challenge, ufufu ~" and just like that Kanata takes his place as a bystander once more, watching chaos unfold.

acting like a good person on camera

the frog jumps back?

it could be worse

how could it have been worse

he could have kicked izumi in the face

he should have

throw him back

ok get ready loser